How do you force someone to accept? If by that, do you mean, “Is it wrong for them to have to allow us legal rights,” then no, it’s not wrong. We are taxpayers; we are job creators; we have expanded the wedding industry… we contribute to the society that they live in. But you can’t force someone to be not homophobic inside, in the same way, that you can’t force someone to be not racist inside.
Like, I was answering a question elsewhere on here where I discussed my work friend, who has been very kind to me but then was telling the story of someone’s drug-fueled downward spiral and finished by saying, “And then she married a black,” as if that was the absolute rock-bottom pit of a person’s life. He didn’t even say “a black man.” He just said, “a black.” That’s never a good sign. So inevitably, a person’s horrible -isms will pop out in awful ways at terrible times. You can’t rewire a person’s brain not to do or say racist, homophobic, transphobic, or ableist behaviours or phrases.
You might gently correct them or loudly fix them, depending on how awful the thing is that they said, but all you change is the surface behaviour. So, there is no real “forcing acceptance,” so much as it forces homophobes to act as if they accept us… which, to me, is acceptable. If they say shit behind my back, then they’re going to. How will I even know if they don’t do it where I can hear it or if it gets back to me?