Come out as LGBTQ!

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What made you decide that you wanted to come out as LGBTQ?
When I grew up, having homosexual sex was illegal, and it took me a while to accept the fact that I had been born gay. Even so, once I had accepted myself, I would still not have risked coming out while I was doing my national service in the RAF. However, there came a point, when I was working in the private sector when I decided that trying to avoid the issue was just too much trouble for me.

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It would surely be easier not to watch what I said all the time but to be completely honest with other people as well as with myself. So, when I moved to a new job after a couple of years, I decided that from then on, I would simply not take any steps to conceal my true nature. I didn’t make an issue of it; I just made no attempt to hide it. I was pleased (and, it must be admitted, relieved) to find that doing so caused me no trouble.

I first came out as gay to an employer explicitly when I had a temporary job in the civil service and needed a security clearance as I decided I wanted to have a permanent position. I told the head of my department, in case he wanted to think twice about offering me a permanent post. He simply said that, if my sexuality was the only objection the security people had, I would be made permanent. And I was.
 
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The reason LGBT people “come out” and it’s such a big deal is because it is not yet accepted as normal by a lot of people. And before you “come out”, you don’t know how others might react, not 100% sure. Not as straight people would be sure, because being straight is being defaulted. That’s why coming out is a big deal to a lot of people, because it is a tremendous risk they take and it often changes their lives forever. There's no shortage of horror stories of teenagers being kicked out of home, and disowned by their parents because they came out as gay.

The questions assume we live in a world where being LGBT is normal, and is accepted. That is simply NOT TRUE. For the majority of the world, outside of a few extremely progressive European countries, homosexual and LGBT people are being persecuted because of who they are. And coming out requires a lot of courage and preparation (mental preparation for being shunned by friends and family; physical/financial preparation in the situation that they might get kicked out of home or lose part of financial support etc.).

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It is necessary because for a lot of LGBT people, coming out is perhaps the only way they’d be able to face themselves, for a lot of people it's either master the courage to come out, or live a horrible hopeless life or worse (death by suicide). To dismiss their struggle and courage as “unnecessary”, as if they're doing this for attention is ignorant and offensive.
 
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What made you decide that you wanted to come out as LGBTQ?
Firstly, make coming out more of a process than an event. People might take time to process the information. First reactions aren’t always lasting reactions. If one is really nervous about coming out, try writing a letter or calling your family or friends. Remember, that people who genuinely love you would embrace your individuality because you're still the same person inside.

And for everyone around: If you suppose someone you know is LGBTQ, remind yourself that you cannot and should not compel them to come out. Instead, you can foster an environment where the person feels supported and comfortable doing so.
 

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