My daughter is a lesbian!
- Thread starter danna19
- Start date
It doesn’t matter what your daughter's sexuality is. You should love her, or you’ll lose her.
Let me tell you the story of one of my best friends of all time. I’m calling him Kyle. (I use that name because I’ve never met anyone by the name of Kyle, so I can protect his privacy and prevent anyone I know from suffering from this story.)
Kyle was one of my best friends for years. I knew he had been gay for a long time, and I didn’t care. He’s a good person, and that was all that mattered to me.
I knew his mom damn near as well as my mom, and I like to think they considered me a part of their family as I am of my own. I know they did; they told me as much.
One day, his mom called and asked to talk to me. I was always happy to hear from her; it usually heralded a day of hanging out with Kyle. She told me she and Kyle had gotten into a huge fight, and I asked what about.
She told me that it was because he was gay. He disowned her and left. I was surprised to hear this; Kyle was pretty levelheaded. She told me she expected he’d head to my flat and ask to crash there. She wanted me to tell him not so she could run him out of options and make him come back. (Awful, right?)
I loved his mom; I did. She was closer to me than some of my relatives. But that was the last straw. I couldn’t support her. I still remember my exact words perfectly, as if they had just happened.
“Kyle can stay here as long as he likes, and you can fuck off. If you don’t accept him for who he is, you’re not welcome in my home.”
Kyle and his mother (to my knowledge) never made up. He got the paperwork done, changed his name, moved to another town and never spoke to her again (again, it’s been a bit since I saw him last).
You tell me, would you rather have a gay daughter or no daughter at all? It’s up to you. I hope you can learn from Kyle’s mom’s mistake.
Don't worry about it. Kids will go through a lot of confusion, periods of interest in different things, and questions about their sexuality. Let them go through the process and give them the best advice that you can with each new interest or confusion. Don't make them think that they can't be something or they are something that they are unsure of. At a young age, their feelings will change rapidly while they figure themselves out.
First of all, be her mother. Tell her you to accept her for who she is. If you are willing to be her mother, 100%, regardless of her sexual preference, now you must make sure she knows and trusts you to be her mother. After you accept her and she knows she can trust you, ask her, or at my mother's, just wait. From an early age, my mother always told me that I would always be her daughter, no matter what, but she never asked. She had a good idea and was correct, but she waited.
When I did come out to her as bisexual, she said she already knew, and I asked her why she never asked or said anything, and she said she knew I would tell her when I was ready for her to know, and she didn't think when she was prepared to learn. She’d known since I was 14 years old after hearing me with my BFF in my room during a sleepover, but I came out to her five years later for shitty reasons. She ensured that I knew, growing up, that I was her daughter regardless of who I was or who I ended up with. I’m bisexual and married to my fantastic wife, and my mother loves her like her own.
When I did come out to her as bisexual, she said she already knew, and I asked her why she never asked or said anything, and she said she knew I would tell her when I was ready for her to know, and she didn't think when she was prepared to learn. She’d known since I was 14 years old after hearing me with my BFF in my room during a sleepover, but I came out to her five years later for shitty reasons. She ensured that I knew, growing up, that I was her daughter regardless of who I was or who I ended up with. I’m bisexual and married to my fantastic wife, and my mother loves her like her own.
