What is it like to date a trans woman?
I was in a committed relationship with a post-op transwoman for several years. Let’s call her Maria.
As a cisgen hetero male, I found Maria’s profile on a dating site, found her extremely attractive, and had few if any reservations about her biological history. We began dating and it was much like any other relationship at first - although I found her a little gun-shy, blowing hot and cold when it came to commitment (she made half-hearted attempts to walk away several times) - that soon wore off and we settled into a routine.
I don’t know what to say about the early phases of the relationship. We clicked. Strongly. The conversations were splendid. I found her more aggressive than other women, more outspoken, brasher, and a lot earthier than the cisgen girls I’d dated, but I loved those qualities. Sex with her blew my mind. I’ve never had a more physically pleasurable intercourse with someone. My family accepted her. As for friends, I learned quickly that not everyone had the maturity and wisdom to be able to handle the “news,” and I lost a few so-called friends over the relationship, including my best friend from high school, who revealed what an idiot he is by arguing that she was in fact a male who had “tricked” me (the asshole). That prompted me to write him out of my life.
Most of them, though, stuck with me.
We did very well as a couple until the last year, when - for reasons still unknown to me - she decided to go off of her oral hormones, and I watched her reassume physical traits that most would consider traditionally male. On that note, I began to feel a loss of attraction to her and we stopped having sex. The other factor is that with the shift in oral hormones, her emotions went haywire and it became much more difficult to be around her. She became verbally abusive and used me financially. And that for me is when it totally ended. Trans or cis, this is the sort of behavior that I find unacceptable. I walked away.