Transexual Date a trans woman!
- Thread starter mochimash
- Start date
I was in a committed relationship with a post-op transwoman for several years. Let’s call her Maria.
As a cisgen hetero male, I found Maria’s profile on a dating site, found her extremely attractive, and had few if any reservations about her biological history. We began dating and it was much like any other relationship at first - although I found her a little gun-shy, blowing hot and cold when it came to commitment (she made half-hearted attempts to walk away several times) - that soon wore off and we settled into a routine.
I don’t know what to say about the early phases of the relationship. We clicked. Strongly. The conversations were splendid. I found her more aggressive than other women, more outspoken, brasher, and a lot earthier than the cisgen girls I’d dated, but I loved those qualities. Sex with her blew my mind. I’ve never had a more physically pleasurable intercourse with someone. My family accepted her. As for friends, I learned quickly that not everyone had the maturity and wisdom to be able to handle the “news,” and I lost a few so-called friends over the relationship, including my best friend from high school, who revealed what an idiot he is by arguing that she was in fact a male who had “tricked” me (the asshole). That prompted me to write him out of my life.
Most of them, though, stuck with me.
We did very well as a couple until the last year, when - for reasons still unknown to me - she decided to go off of her oral hormones, and I watched her reassume physical traits that most would consider traditionally male. On that note, I began to feel a loss of attraction to her and we stopped having sex. The other factor is that with the shift in oral hormones, her emotions went haywire and it became much more difficult to be around her. She became verbally abusive and used me financially. And that for me is when it totally ended. Trans or cis, this is the sort of behavior that I find unacceptable. I walked away.
Xena and I appear to be kindred spirits with this experience. I happen to be a bit younger; my girlfriend is somewhat older than him but I am still 16 yrs. older than her. My limited experience. (First trans-woman I have dated) has been wonderful. I am dating a woman but I seem able to connect with her better than in past relationships. She is a calming spirit to me actually.
My experience is that trans people have to deal with so much more just to be in the body that fits their heart and mind. Something the rest of us take for granted. When they can do that and after the transition is loving, caring, not bitter against society, and treat their family and significant another well, then that is a testament to a wonderful human being. I am grateful we met and hit it off. She is extremely attractive, has done modeling, and is in an industry where many guys make advances. Shoot when she goes to the grocery store, she has to tell men she is with someone. First, she decides to tell the she is transgender and if that does not turn them off, then she tells them she is with someone.
I tell her she does not have to break her privacy but she has finally thought about the years-built confidence in exactly who she is and I totally commend her for it. So, in my experience, I don’t know about what it is like to date “a” trans-woman but I do know what it has been like dating my girlfriend who happens to be a trans-woman. — Wonderful.
My experience is that trans people have to deal with so much more just to be in the body that fits their heart and mind. Something the rest of us take for granted. When they can do that and after the transition is loving, caring, not bitter against society, and treat their family and significant another well, then that is a testament to a wonderful human being. I am grateful we met and hit it off. She is extremely attractive, has done modeling, and is in an industry where many guys make advances. Shoot when she goes to the grocery store, she has to tell men she is with someone. First, she decides to tell the she is transgender and if that does not turn them off, then she tells them she is with someone.
I tell her she does not have to break her privacy but she has finally thought about the years-built confidence in exactly who she is and I totally commend her for it. So, in my experience, I don’t know about what it is like to date “a” trans-woman but I do know what it has been like dating my girlfriend who happens to be a trans-woman. — Wonderful.
It’s the same as dating any other woman.
The best way to handle it is to be open. Learn her story, ask her questions and get to know her. Be honest about who you are and what you like. If you don’t feel comfortable telling people, you’re dating a trans woman, that’s ok.
But if you’re in a public place, she’s likely going to tell people she’s your girlfriend. Whether or not you’re comfortable with that is up to you.
